Fact: when you think of ‘traveling’ you mostly think of the highlights, the late nights, the
poor interesting choices you made, the picture-worthy moments. We get it. Your brain is wired to be selective about what it remembers. When it comes to traveling, most of us select the good stuff, the fun and positive things to remember.
You’ve never asked your Uncle Bob how his trip was, and he said, “Oh it was fantastic! I had to wait at the airport for 2 hours, take off my shoes, and get patted down by Russ (who clearly hadn’t brushed his teeth). Check out this video I took. Yep, those are the Twilight socks your grandma Betty gave me 8 years ago. I found them in the attic.”
Of course, we all agree traveling is great, but that doesn’t mean that some of the attending conditions don’t get on your nerves—especially if you’re a frequent traveler. We put together a list of the 5 most annoying things about traveling so you can laugh on the plane while you’re secretly judging everyone. Obviously, airport parking would never make this list. Let us know if any of these sound familiar.
Sitting Near Bratty/Loud Kids on the Plane
So you finally sat down after bumping into eighteen people and getting stepped on on your way to your seat. From the middle of the plane, you spy a toddler in his mother’s arms come in and you think, “cute kid.” You even chuckle innocently as you see her throwing a minor tantrum. That is…until you see that same cute kid getting closer…and closer…and then your internal alarm starts to go off like a hoarse rooster at the first sign of dawn. Dear God, please! No! And sure enough, that baby and her mama sit right next to you. You smile (what else can you do?) as they sit. To be clear, we love kids. We do. But sitting next to a bratty kid who complains and yells like baby Tarzan during the whole flight, or a toddler who cries for half the flight, is no bueno. We’re lucky the pilot doesn’t have to hear that or who knows they might do!
So you’re plopped in your seat and you finally whip out your laptop. You’re ready to
bore wow your colleagues with your latest market research, or maybe you just want to watch videos of sharks foolishly getting caught in tornados (what were they thinking?). That’s when you realize…there is no Wifi. Are you serious? Now what am I supposed to do for the next 4 hours? Ok, who’s up for a game of ‘Simon Says?’
Dear Heavenly Father, please don’t let this triple chili cheese burger and animal-style fries make me have to use the restroom on the plane. I’m good, right?
Whoever designed the interior of a plane clearly forgot to include a restroom; realizing their mistake, they then slapped a bathroom sign on the broom closet, added a toilet, and said voila! So you know, there is no graceful way to step into or out of those restrooms. You will trip or bump your head on something. Wear a helmet. Also, it’s very crowded in there, we recommend you do some light stretching in the aisles so you won’t get a cramp.
Last thing—there is some etiquette to how long one passenger should be in the restroom. If you’re in there for over 10 minutes, you better be stuck in the toilet. No excuses.
People Who Overstuff the Overhead Bins
Dear Humanity, stop bringing your cellos, skateboards, babies (this really happened), car seats, strollers, and giant umbrellas on the plane and trying to stuff them into the overhead bins. The rest of us read the rules (or are at least familiar with them) and brought regularly-sized items like toiletries. Also, you have the right to overhead space directly above (or near) your seat, not 18 aisles away Sir.
Look, if you have the plague then you definitely need to stay home or at least wear one of those masks that Bane is wearing in The Dark Knight Rises. We sincerely wish you weren’t sick, but we also sincerely don’t want to catch whatever you got. As a matter of fact, airlines should provide complimentary face masks for anyone feeling under the weather. Otherwise, you basically have a giant petri dish flying in the sky at 39,000 feet.
Author: Alfredo Lopez